Saturday 31 August 2019

Now Parenting: August 2019

Week 58
-All bottles are straight milk from this point, basically.
-Sunday at home. Pumped up pool slide, did a long run, and edits on story.
-Little one in 'crib' for over 8 hours, when I sat up, was sitting there watching.
-Bumpier Monday, resisted snoozes. I let them go to park. Early bedtime.
-2+ hrs writing got all of Virga done/new part in, while others were shoe shopping.
-Needed a bit more milk for second night in a row, and it was rougher.
-Wednesday a longer day, outings, did get photos uploaded and started diary notes.
-She will applaud if we (or TV) do applause, and likes walking with assistance.
-Night again had an interruption, did lots of videos of her in the morning.
-Thurs afternoon managed to finish main diary stuff and start reading backlog.
-Baffling 3 hours snooze, possibly related to lower teeth emerging.
-Hard to get to sleep, but once there, 8 hours. Entertained during cleaning.
-Afternoon visit involving pool fun, crisps, still awake in evening.
-Saturday, extended time from when little one went to market through to 1:30pm.
-Started some edits on CanCon 2018 Serialization panel.
-Beach 5pm-7pm fascinated and puzzled her. Trouble sleeping on way home.
-Noodles, Swing, and Fort Boyard (with monitor) to round out the evening.
-Catching up with: Darths & Droids, ChaosB1.

Item counts to Saturday (Aug 3):
Step Count 2016: About 46,500
-This post format was adapted, and active procrastination.

Step Count 2017: About 57,400 (22 stars)
-Was manic, started trying to learn Processing programming.

Step Count 2018: Over 72,500 (14 stars)
-Last pill, decided "rough nights" was a silly metric, did art & "Time Untied".

STEP COUNT 2019: Over 54,550. 19 stars.
SCHOOL EMAIL 2019: 3 New (0 sent)

RH Stress Level: 1 (Evasion: Flier Fin)

=======
Week 59
-MaMa means milk. Mamamam means mom. DaDa means dad. DaDeh means kitty?
-Both new bottom teeth seem to be out now, making four.
-Balancing Alexandra time with self stuff, then all swimming.
-Monday, wet sack. A fall for two, La Rochelle aquarium, trouble on return.
-Also, Saintes fair with book. Exhausting all through. Changed Mac bg.
-Tuesday relaxing and library, finished books I brought (except new Poirot)
-Evening out with crepes, had cats, took awkward turns. Sad bath.
-Wednesday, little one to market again, then busy afternoon.
-More edits got done on CanCon2018 summaries. Also file organization.
-Thurs morning was intense, afternoon more relaxing including packing.
-Hotel not great (for dinner service or sleeping, into our bed early).
-France to Montreal was good. Montreal to Ottawa was problematic (rain alert).
-Much reading done in new Poirot (Closed Casket) to page 200+.
-Home before 7pm; AC unit is broken (likely fan) with water on floor.
-Confused sleep. With Alexandra 2:45am, bottle 4am into bed, play from 6:30am.
-Busy morning included walk outside. Later mom tried walks with strap walker.
-Walk video. Would not snooze in afternoon. Was asleep in crib after 5:30pm.
-Cleared phone messages in morning, shopping after 6pm. Finished the book.
-Catching up with: Darths & Droids, ChaosB2.
-Lotus Prince "Resident Evil Remake" #1.

Item counts to Saturday (Aug 10):
Step Count 2016: About 50,700
-Shelved Math Comic, wrote new T&T Book 4 passages, saw “Sailor Moon Crystal”.

Step Count 2017: About 60,200 (26 stars)
-LOTS on the creativity including RRL, Tapastic and Series’ Scans.

Step Count 2018: Over 72,900 (9 stars)
-First major baby monitor use, "Thank You" shower cards, more writing.

STEP COUNT 2019: Over 76,200. 17 stars.
SCHOOL EMAIL 2019: 4 New (1 sent)

RH Stress Level: 1 (Evasion: Flier Fin)

=======
Week 60
-She was undisturbed for 9+ hours. Meaning awake 3am. Eventually 90 min more sleep.
-Sunday featured water table, nice lunch, confused snooze, dinner at 6pm.
-I'm having micro-dreams between her wakeups? Last night dreamt went to fridge, power out, had to wait for A-L w/ flashlight to pour milk. Before it was A-L coming into kitchen with little one covered in yoghurt.
-I slept about 9:30pm-1am, micro-dream, then 3:30-5:15am. Left bed 6:30am.
-Monday morning AC/furnace, afternoon dentist and home doctor taking blood.
-Able to do a bit more yuri reading. Little one early to bed again.
-Tuesday morning at outdoor group, afternoon they're away at library.
-Able to do review work for Steins;Gate movie. Little one made funny faces later.
-As furnace was replaced, repaired toilet, WD-40 on doors and cleaned window sills.
-Tripped with little one in the afternoon. Scraped her nose. ;.; Toothbrush in bath.
-Crib from about 8pm to 4am, plus a couple hours in bed. Mom back to work.
-Thurs was MonkeyRock, nice lunch, snooze, group, then waiting for Mom.
-Tidied up review column. Soothed at 11pm, headed to bed. Another 3am wakeup.
-Fri was Yoga, rice at lunch, long snooze, play and store trip. Early dinner.
-With Alexandra from 6:30am and 11:30am, in between a bit of time to tidy.
-Crashed for own snooze before parents arrived. Saw photos, had fish, late bedtime.
-Did screen capture stills for Steins;Gate movie before my own bedtime.
-Catching up with comics (From Dec 2018): "Neon Rabbit", "M9 Girls", "Final Light"?, "Centralia 2050", "My Dad Is A Magical Girl", "Pike's Reach", "Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R".
-Lotus Prince "Resident Evil Remake" #2-11.

Item counts to Saturday (Aug 17):
Step Count 2016: About 55,700
-I was pleased not to feel rushed on all the things on my To Do list. (Whelp.)

Step Count 2017: About 57,000 (23 stars)
-Marmalade Week, completing a fanfic from viewings; reading without coding.

Step Count 2018: Over 69,250 (8 stars)
-Cedar trim, many outings for little one, some recap writing (to 2am feed).

STEP COUNT 2019: Over 58,350. 12 stars.
SCHOOL EMAIL 2019: 11 New (2 sent)

RH Stress Level: 1 (Evasion: Flier Fin)

=======
Week 61
-Breakfast with parents. Snooze en route, as woke up same time despite 9:30pm bed.
-Alexandra time, then mowing lawn + minor weeds, then shopping including filters.
-Mixed time w/ her in afternoon. Confirmed straw usage at dinner. Restless night.
-Daycare 1 with me there went well. Then 7.5 hours at home with her (~1.5 snoozing).
-Busy evening; dinner, bought new pouches (had a whole one at dinner), more soothing.
-Daycare 2's hour went well, but Alexandra has a cold. We still make it to library.
-Not sure if sick. Alexandra cries more. Manage to insert TTNexus article links.
-Daycare 3's half day went well too! Just no sleep. Snoozed about 80 min at home.
-At school for keys, no desks; also picked up comics. Afternoon, water table.
-Daycare 4 managed a 45 min snooze after tears, knew that'd be the one.
-Out to west end to buy 20% off manga, read that and comics, some tidying.
-Second snooze at home... then Alexandra wanted to walk around outside?
-Daycare 5 started bumpier but snooze went long and so 8-4:30pm worked.
-Did some story edits for post 500, dishes, shredding, and got gas for the car.
-Traded Sat morning, then brunch. Alexandra let me cut her toenails awake.
-FALL from chair at 1:15pm, big bump on her forehead. ;.; Cried, got back on chair.
-Skype anime interview of 45 min or so from about 2:15pm. More play later.
-Bath at 6:30pm becoming standard? Watched a few videos, in bed before 9:30pm.
-Catching up with comics (From Dec 2018): "Angel With Black Wings", "CHAMPS".
-Lotus Prince "Resident Evil Remake" #12(end+). AT4W from July on.

Item counts to Saturday (Aug 24):
Step Count 2016: About 51,250
-Kept editing T&T instead of doing convention recaps. No school upcoming.

Step Count 2017: About 61,500 (24 stars)
-Sudden medical/fertility, met tech dept head, and cracked into 2016 school box.

Step Count 2018: Over 57,400 (7 stars)
-Got keys, COMA messages, new baby pillow, date night. More recaps finished.

STEP COUNT 2019: Over 63,500. 20 stars.
(To Daycare and back is two stars, so yeah.)
SCHOOL EMAIL 2019: 25 New (1 sent)

RH Stress Level: 1 (Evasion: Flier Fin)

=======
Week 62
-With Alexandra almost 4 hours from before 6:30am. Then drawing with tablet.
-Play, failed snooze, out to Works, her dinner before 6pm. Humidifier for nose.
-Mon: Stroller walk, 90 min snooze, trip to park, dinner from 6pm; broken plate.
-Some time for image edits and recap cleanup on Sun/Mon evenings.
-Tues: No group, long snooze, closed pool, general issues. >.< Managed dishes.
-Six straight hours sleep, she's in crib to 5:15am. My back hurts but ice pack.
-Wed: Strollers, 35 min snooze, ANOTHER fall >.<, she has no off switch.
-Thu: No groups. Only slept 10:15-10:45am. I'm very close to a breakdown.
-Thurs night I do course sheet prep I can't do Fri (no Daycare), talk to A-L
-Less than 2 hrs out via school (still missing desks, can't copy) and store.
-With Alexandra from 10:30am, hour snooze, park, Energy guy(?), leave 6:30pm
-Arrival in Dorset after 10:30pm, I have a mild panic attack after these 17 hrs.
-Separate sleep, switchover after 6:30am. Morning spent on school related items.
-Mostly completed parody song for "Only When It Rains" on effort in afternoon.
-Trip to town with slides and trip out in boat that Alexandra wasn't keen on.
-Work on her story pieces, play, new bath, slept well through campfire smores.
-Lotus Prince, "Amnesia" #1-8.

Item counts to Saturday (Aug 31):
Step Count 2016: About 57,550
-Posted ConBravo 2016 recaps, continued T&T rewrites, read and walked.

Step Count 2017: About 68,000 (20 stars)
-Spent 4 of 5 days dealing with teaching issues, launched on Tapas.

Step Count 2018: Over 59,100 (10 stars)
-More interest in mobile, vaccinations, to Hawkesbury, bassinet in crib.

STEP COUNT 2019: Over 84,800. 24 stars.
SCHOOL EMAIL 2019: 35 New (3 sent)

RH Stress Level: 5 (ACS Standby)
A bit all over the map with that stress marker.

*****
CONSTANT TO-DO LIST:
 -Recap for OAME 2019
 -2019 Banner for TPolys
 -Write a TANDQ article on Polling and Bias
 -Write a post about types of praise/encouragement
 -Catching up with web serials/comics (from ~Aug 2018)
 -Read some of the books sitting at my desk

Friday 30 August 2019

CanCon 2018: Serialization

One of the panels I went to at CanCon 2018 on Sunday was "Serialized Fiction: More Than the Sum of Its Parts". I've separated it out into it's own post here, so that the previous post wasn't too long, and because I tend to write my stories in Serialized format, so those who follow me and/or who also write in that style have this as a more handy reference.

As per usual, any errors in my courtroom style transcription are my own fault, likely from mishearing something, and are not an issue with the panelists. The individuals on the panel were Jack Brigilio, Charlotte Ashley, Linda Poitevin and moderator Rebecca Diem.


Rebecca: I'd like to begin today by acknowledging the unceded territory. Today, talking about serialized fiction, that takes place in many parts, over a period of time. We'll try to focus on the digital mediums to use and changing technology allowing for a resurgence. Back in the day we had Charles Dickens and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, to bring people in. The term cliffhanger came from a Conan Doyle (Sherlock Holmes) story, hanging off a cliff.
Will talk also about craft, opportunities for audience building and work of panelists. For intro, why this panel, anything you'd like to push. I'm Rebecca Diem, by the way.

Jack: I'm Jack, comic book graphic novel writer. I have written the Eisner nominated series "Growing up Enchanted", and part of a superhero anthology from Chapter House. Created "Union Jack", not related to me, honest. Also have worked for various comics companies, DC, IDW, Archie, Disney.
I'm working on a few things related to serials. Union Jack is bimonthly, 8-12 pages every two months. Also doing a crime fantasy series for Aces Weekly called "Take Two". Written that over two volumes, 21 pages each chapter. The way it goes out is 3 page instalments every week, a chapter, so that's very interesting.

Charlotte: Charlotte Ashley. My primary project has been a serial competitive ongoing three part novel. Me and two other writers put together a world, and assigned factions, we don't see chapters until we've all written them and we react to each other. Have rules, which characters you can touch and which you can't, and publish through Patreon. Just wrapped up first season after a story per month, we each got one chapter off to come to the end of a first arc. Also interactive, there's the ability to have polls, lots of feedback. First year ebook compilation (And paper book) released soon I hope. Also lots of Wattpad experience.

Linda: I am on this panel because Marie put me here, but I do serials. Experience on Wattpad as well, and Radish. My Gregoiri Legacy is four novels back to back, but it is a serial novel series; hadn't thought of that. Fire sale, getting rid of old stock, dirt cheap, perfect time to pick up winter reading.

PARTS FORMAT


Rebecca: This is all fascinating, the programming team did a good job of different perspectives. Myself, I finished my first series this year, Tales of Captain Duke about a girl who runs away and finds herself on an airship, steampunk.
Feel free to play with the questions, less a Q&A and more free flowing conversation. One common thing is the craft of it, how do you tell a good piece of serial fiction. So what do you do to bring the audience in and maintain their interest.

Linda: I want to go first. Any well written novel is a piece of serial fiction within itself, because each chapter needs to end on enough of a hook to turn to the next chapter. With novels you want to end on enough of a hook to not strangle you, but to get the next novel - and my experience is don't wait two years later.

Charlotte: The timing of serials can be very interesting. We approached the project as if it was a TV series, each episode needing to have something in and of itself, an episode where something happens, but with the overarching plot. We each treated it a bit differently. I went back and forth with a plot episode and a side adventure episode. The hook is in the main plot that is threaded through, but each episode kind of wrapped up.

Jack: I agree with everything so far, hook at beginning, cliffhanger at end, plotting is important. Also, how you link in the chapters. With each, you need enough meat that is not just plot, it's got to be beyond plot. Make each episode memorable. There's examples from TV in the age of binge watching, you forget so many episodes. A lot now is 13 hour movies, versus episodes. Episodes have to say something.

Charlotte: Sometimes a chapter is just a bridge.

Jack: Exactly. What is that chapter trying to say, as part of the bigger novel. It's got to mean something. With Take Two what I did, having three page chapters, I titled each of them within the main title. I thought that helped in terms of guiding readers.

Linda: Absolutely agree with that. I'm more familiar with novels, when the series has an overarching story arc, each book will stand on it's own, you get the full benefit if you read from start to finish. Probably one of the hallmarks of serials is that you need to have that meat. Every chapter has to have a purpose beyond getting you to the next chapter. The character has to be learning something, coming to an understanding, a relationship between characters advances, there has to be something in there that is critical for the reader to know. The meat is so important.

Rebecca: I like we're talking about the different parts of it, not just the beginning, middle and end. Essential to drawing in readers. I want to talk about the timing of things too, the use and abuse of cliffhangers.

Charlotte: I think you can get away with a certain amount if the next entry is coming eventually, but it's very tough to have a cliffhanger and wait a long time. The tension has been lost. We're free with how we're defining a serial, but you can't just get the next thing right away. Convince a reader to be patient, to come back, the waiting process. I'm cagey on cliffhangers, it may have more power for me than it does for the reader who goes away for a month, or a week. Consider "last time on Star Trek: The Next Generation", and oh right, we were tense.

Rebecca: A good cliffhanger is one you've earned. You pull away just at the inevitable conclusion, and then you can play around with it. I remember watching Digimon - we didn't get Pokemon - and one thing I hated was that it felt like each episode was offset. You'd watch, because the end of your episode happened in next episode. And then it's like another episode would start. That really did not sit well with me, for an abuse of the cliffhanger.

Linda: It's a cheat. In addition to having the cliffhanger or hook, you need to have some closure for the reader or watcher. If you piss them off too much, they're done with you.

RELEASE CHALLENGES


Rebecca: Don't do what I did. My first three books, I'd have a good conclusion and then leave elements to be resolved, and I think I did a good job. But when I was writing my third and fourth as a pair, and so they're figuring things out and a thing happens, and I left them like that for a year and a half... I felt awful. When I finished book four I had to revise it for months. What do you do when that happens? I was honest with my readers, let them know what was happening.

Charlotte: My theory is tell the whole story, then maybe tell something new that's enticing. So the cliffhanger is hook rather than a thing without an end. Want to intrigue, but not rob the reader of a conclusion. I can wait five years for this new story you've teased, but not for what characters I'm invested in are doing.

Jack: Originally I'd envisioned a 12 part story, and when I went with Aces weekly, I had to change the format. I realized at the end of these 42 pages, I had a great cliffhanger at 21, but then I needed to give closure for characters they'd invested in. But make aware there's more to the story.

Charlotte: I'm a big fan of the bomb. Everything's great, and then oh no, it's his twin brother. Next.


Rebecca: How about timing of things and how you schedule releases. Planner or pantser, all written before you release, or what your team is doing?

Charlotte: Had to pants it.

Rebecca: What are the challenges, do you plan out?

Linda: In my defence, it was publisher stuff, in my final novel when eventually released I acknowledged the patience of readers. Throwing it out there, I needed the closure as much as them. I've since got my rights back on the first two, now doing a rapid release. That's one thing, I'm seeing a lot of reader feedback, I'm active in social media, and people don't have a long attention span. It's getting shorter and shorter, if they pick up book one, or episode one, they don't want to wait. Going forward, in any other series, if I'm having control as an Indy (Independent), I want to release on a tighter schedule. I want to have the whole series written, to have the audience build. There's connections between characters where each story is a stand alone, then I can get away with a bit more of a time space. But if same story arc, I lose too many readers.

Charlotte: I think things have changed in the world of binging. I think it's more of a patience thing.
Linda: Scientifically, it's attention span.
Charlotte: But they can sit and watch for 13 hours.
Jack: Like Stranger Things.

Charlotte: I don't binge, I don't understand the purpose. We ended up breaking up our episodes, each one per month but released one week at a time. So they could get an episode, but it felt slow to me.

Jack: I think that's why it's so important that each chapter has the meat we talked about. You don't know how your readers are going to read these things. Some will follow you, whatever the gap is, a week to two years, you'll have others who will read it when it's done. In comics it's like that, I'm doing a lot of digital serialization. They read it once it's in some sort of print form.

Charlotte: You can do all of the above too. Like you can rapid release now.
Linda: I can do whatever I want.
Charlotte: People say I'd love to support you, but only want the book.
Rebecca: Great transition into mediums.

Audience Member: Just to follow up, how long is "rapid release"?
Linda: Starting in January, for four months, one per month. Taking any longer than that and I'm dropping readers.
Audience: Previous panel, "From Book 1 to Book X" touched on release rate as well. One had a trilogy over three months.
Charlotte: I think people expect that now, they go to Amazon right away.

Jack: And that's so hard in comics. Because of the team that gets together, you'd have to have years before to get graphic novels over three months. Whether I'm a writer and artist or writer-artist, 300 plus pages is huge.
Charlotte: Maybe reframe it, teasers, then graphic novel is later.
Jack: Weekly, going into a comic story of X, Y, Z it was the whole thing, immediacy. Today that immediacy has gone hyper.

Rebecca: Means taking a break (from writing) for 6 months, to do trades. But if it means creativity and honour of characters, I'm willing to wait.
Linda: Because you're a writer and understanding.
Charlotte: There's always another thing. I'm bored, what will I do instead.
Linda: There is a core fan group.

Charlotte: I wonder if the mediums are different. On the prior panel it was novels, if released one chapter at a time, one month at a time, would people have read it?
Rebecca: Maybe a novel is a binge.
Linda: Maybe not a chapter a month.
Jack: Chapter a week?
Linda: Exactly. I've had huge success using Wattpad. If they don't want to wait until the next week, they can read the e-book. Grace sold many copies within a month, romance series do really well on Wattpad.

PLATFORMS


Charlotte: How many reads?
Linda: Gwynneth has like 8 million reads on it?
Charlotte: (To clarify 'reads':) Cumulative over all chapters.
Linda: I think I have 80,000 followers now, I haven't tracked it lately.
Rebecca: Wattpad versus Patreon?

Charlotte: My experience with Fantasy, not Romance, is that it's not monetizable. Some did come from Wattpad. On Wattpad they have 8 million views, but ebook is 15 sales. Wattpad audience is very young. In Philippines, no credit cards, and Amazon is difficult. You had a product as you were releasing.
Linda: And Wattpad is doing a beta right now. Radish is a new one, you can release a chapter per week, you can lock your chapters. If someone wants to unlock they pay, and writer gets a cut at the end.

Charlotte: It adds up.
Linda: It does, quite nicely, enough to cover a book cover. Only 50 writers are doing it, but Wattpad is trying. They've had readers go to them and say they want to support their favourite writers.
Charlotte: They're working on how to monetize, but don't have the model yet. For Patreon it's more direct, no content unless you support. But as a platform it's still not there. It's not searchable, no discoverability, you need to already have the audience. Unlike Kickstarter, where if you like this, check this out too.

Rebecca: Patreon want you to bring an audience there. Best for, in my experience, an early look. Show next three chapters of book, character profiles and art released every two weeks or so. I think Patreon is less of a place to "support for $1/month to get this", the biggest fans just want to throw moneys.
Linda: Seriously?
Charlotte: May not add to much, but $300 worth of people willing.

Rebecca: I have people - who are not my mother - in the top contribution tier including two fans from conventions, they give me $20/month to send a postcard and everything behind the paywall. Check in with how they're doing.
Charlotte: The platform won't make anyone a career.
Rebecca: But put it on your website. Keep main content free and accessible, great opportunity if you have a serial or webcomic on a platform you own. Can bring that audience, here's a chance to throw money at me. "Girls with Slingshots", couldn't support in University but now I throw money at her.


Charlotte: There are other platforms, better gate-kept like Drip and SerialBox. More like having a publisher who publishes serial fiction. You can't just freely sign on, you need to be invited. Drip is Amazon's beta response to serial fiction.
Linda: For a couple others, Wattpad has an app called Tap. Another similar called Hooked. Those are really interesting. I tentatively explored, not my writing style, the entire story is told in texting format. Can text a picture to somebody.
Charlotte: Like snapchat?
Linda: Texting, like 'mom, what are you doing, get out of the house'. They're paid, you can do them for free but it can become a paid gig.

Rebecca: All these different platforms, magazine or online or others. Football one?
Charlotte: 10887 or something, TSN?
Audience Member: Satellites talking to each other.
Linda: And there's a story app called Episode, the reader gets to choose, there's certain threads in the story. I can't write 14 different endings.
Jack: Choose your own adventure?
Linda: It's called Episode, that's another one where you can be paid.

Jack: There's tons of webcomic apps as well. Webtoon, I recently found out about. Warren Ellis and (missed name) doing a serialized story. A different comic experience, this is continuous scrolling. A totally different format for comics.
Rebecca: Let's open to questions for 15 minutes.

I make mention of Tapas for comics and more, RoyalRoadL and Web Fiction Guide as serial sites.

Audience: There's not always reader patience. A lot is distrust of publishers.
Linda: Because they do this.
Audience: Not investing in characters until I've seen them again. It's how binge watching came out, shows being cancelled.
Rebecca: That's why I didn't watch Lost.
[Blogger's Aside: This reminds me of people not wanting to watch "Timeless" until they knew it had been renewed.]

Audience: How to choose between serializing? Sites?
Charlotte: Anything where you are the self publisher. Amazon does nothing to build an audience, you need the audience first. If you do not have followers and go through Kindle Unlimited, you won't sell any copies. Radish is better at discoverability, at least have a fighting change. There's an argument for building audiences in a traditional way and then choosing the medium once you know what/how they can pay.

Rebecca: Need to do research. I sent out a survey link in my newsletter, is this something you'd be interested in, how much would you feel comfortable contributing. Used that data directly.
Audience: Didn't you find an audience on Amazon?
Rebecca: Amazon, Kobo, doing conventions and festivals, I'd dress up all steampunk. There's the plug, I'd drag a typewriter around with me. Memorable experience and direct engagement to build an audience since 2013. Just now I'm starting to feel more comfortable.
Jack: Great idea for a future panel, how to do it, because it's how I built my audience as well.

Charlotte: I found my audience through tie-ins. Have an archipelago world, great playground, great to write another story in the world and sell it to mainstream. Podcasting has a huge readership, plug the pattern "if you like this world". Did one for Kickstarter and black gate, if you can write a short story like this, you might as well.
Rebecca: Draws audience in.

Linda: And not being exclusive. One thing I've refused to do is be exclusive to Amazon.
Rebecca: Down with Kindle Unlimited.
Linda: When readers buy from Wattpad, my iBooks are better than Kindle. So many reading on Wattpad are on an iPhone.
Charlotte: They have Apple, they don't have Amazon.

Linda: If I can make money, I will put my book up there.
Charlotte: The battlefield hasn't shrunken down yet, no clear winner.
Linda: And Kobo is just starting with a Kindle Unlimited thing in Norway - one of the Scandinavian countries. It is not exclusive. So down with Kindle Unlimited.

FINAL THOUGHTS


Audience: Grew up on FFnet, still an A03 writer, sending out a 5k chapter.
Rebecca: We haven't even talked about fanfic!
Audience: Alert emails, sending a 20k update every couple months. The popularity in my generation, coffee accounts, not an original work but 20k.
Charlotte: They build these whole audiences, and then publish with an original character.
Linda: (tired voice) Fifty Shades of Grey. That was fanfic.

Audience: Rise of serialized fiction has reflected in a positive way. That's what we did. Reread all of it and remember.
Charlotte: I think that goes back to interactivity to some extent too. They expect to have a say, a community, to ship certain characters. I want to hear this story. For my kids, the idea that a world just belongs to one person is totally alien to them.
Linda: I'll show my age, I know nothing about this.

Rebecca: Question for you actually, felt more engaged as a reader, or more the story itself?
Audience: FF when I was 11, I think what brought me in was watching shows and not being satisfied, looked for supplementary work. Did it better in 50 different ways.
Charlotte: At the end it comes down to monetization though, relying on someone else to bring audience, how do you bring them to you, that you can charge them for. If next gen is happy with coffee app, can get, but not sure the money's there yet.

Rebecca: One minute left, want to highlight the amazing panelists.

At this point there were general plugs, noted the Dealers Room is open until 3pm. Bookmarks were offered. Let me know if you have any thoughts about the content, or if you think anything was missed. You can also follow this link back to my CanCon post about the rest of Sunday. Thanks for reading!

Thursday 29 August 2019

500: Off Target

It's Post #500, and time for another work of fiction. Unlike last time, I noticed this milestone approaching, yet I haven't had time to write anything new. So I revamped something from 2017 to be less racy, and present it below. The yuri (girl love) angle is evident, the temporal angle takes some time to get going. The images are my first digital experiments with my Wacom tablet. In the writing, I was experimenting with mind control - yet not mind control? You be the judge.

The History:
Post #100 of this blog was "Time for a Superheroine" (Oct 2013). Post #200 of this blog was "No Reason" (Aug 2015). My continued efforts to write short fiction continued in #246 "Suppression" and #261 "In The Dark", based on prompts from "Web Fiction Guide". Post #300 of this blog was "A Bunny's Tale" (Jan 2017). Post #400 was "Relative Change" (Jan 2018). We have now reached Post #500 in August 2019.

=====

OFF TARGET


Kristen's kiss compulsion started on Monday.

To be precise, Monday afternoon, in the college library, when she was reading her biology text at one of the study slots. As Kristen had skipped lunch, she was feeling hungry.

‘I could go for a cheeseburger,’ she mused, looking up. ‘Or a salad would be healthier. Or maybe I'll kiss the girl.’

Kristen nearly overbalanced her chair, baffled as to where that last thought had come from.

She took a quick look around the area. What girl had she even meant? Was anyone looking her way? Was some telepath having an off day, perhaps?

People with esper powers were notoriously bad at being able to hit their desired target. Particularly if the telepath in question was younger than about 25, which described almost every student here. It was why non-disclosure forms were required to attend this particular college, powered or not. Blackmail was against the rules.

Kristen had already been on the receiving end of a few weird messages over her three years here. And while she had no abilities herself, if you wanted to research esper, this was the college to come to. The only place where she might be able to find the missing piece to her theory of the targeting ability.

At present, the only person around that Kristen took some note of was the girl two carousels down, typing something into a laptop. That girl, like her, was a blonde. Though her hair was much shorter; Kristen’s was long enough to pull back into her usual ponytail. The girl also wore a simple blouse and short skirt, in contrast to Kristen’s jeans and T-shirt.

The shorter hair meant a good view of her slightly rosy cheeks, while the skirt exposed a pair of creamy white thighs. Both elegant targets, offering such kissable skin. Kiss the girl...

Kristen slapped her textbook closed and stood up. She was totally heterosexual, she had to be, given how she had never had such thoughts before. She'd been working too hard, and somehow, the refrain from that "Little Mermaid" song was getting stuck in her head, leading to her synapses misfiring due to hunger.

Then again, maybe that blonde girl was some kind of latent esper, who hadn’t gotten a handle on not broadcasting her deepest fantasies to everyone in the vicinity? Also plausible.

Kristen went to find a salad to eat.

She'd have thought nothing more of it, except the thought came back, during Kristen’s Monday evening class. Troublingly, she wasn't hungry at the time.

There was simply a girl, a redhead, who had nearly fallen asleep in the room, and had thus slumped back in her chair. She was in the same row as Kristen, so Kristen had looked at her. At how that hair framed the girl's face. Then down at the curves of her body, and then back up to the way her lower lip quivered with her regular breathing. She had kissable lips. Kiss the girl.

Kristen banged the heel of her hand into her forehead a couple times, and refocussed on the lecture.

**

The thought happened at least five more times on Tuesday. The triggering seemed completely random.

For instance, a blonde with long hair and a very short skirt who was pursing her lips at a mirror she held. ‘Kiss the girl.’ An admittedly cute redhead doing leg lifts as part of their yoga class. ‘Kiss the girl.’ A short haired brunette with a sweet smile in the cafeteria, who accidentally knocked a cup of water onto herself. ‘Kiss the girl.’

Seriously, what the hell? Kristen was having trouble putting the phrase out of her head that night.

Then another three times on Wednesday morning, before lunch.

Kristen found she had started eyeing the people around her, trying to see if she was being psychically targeted by someone. She found she had to tell herself that she wasn't scoping out pretty girls, no, she was trying to see if there was someone - male or female - who was always in the area when she got that inevitable thought.

Her friend Alana picked up on the behaviour during their scheduled lunch. "Uh, Kristen, is everything okay?"


Alana was a telepath, but she had asked out loud. After all, though Alana’s targeting was pretty good on most days, she couldn’t know Kristen’s answer unless it was spoken aloud, and in general, a one sided verbal conversation was rude.

The fact of the matter was, esper thought READING was incredibly rare. Usually it was broadcast only. Of course, there was still a lot they didn’t know about the power, it had been suppressed for centuries. Hence, Kristen’s studies.

“I’m fine,” Kristen assured her brunette friend, refocusing her attention. “Just been feeling distracted this morning. Wondering if someone around me has been broadcasting stray thoughts. Or a thought, at least.” Kiss the girl. Wait, had that been a broadcast, or just her thinking about it?

"Any particular thought?"

Kristen felt a heat rising in her cheeks. “Maybe. Have you picked up on anything?”

“No.” Alana frowned. “We telepaths usually know when we’re ‘on’ or ‘off’ for transmitting, Kristen. Stray thoughts are rare.”

“I know. But maybe I’ve had some effect on this person. Somehow.”

“Flattering yourself, huh?” Alana grinned, even as she scratched her head. “Well, I guess I can keep an eye out. You can always talk to admin as well. You know they crack down on mental suggestion stuff pretty hard.”

“Thanks. I might. But I think I want to keep this particular new thought private for now.”

Kristen found her gaze zeroing in on Alana's lips. No ‘kiss the girl’ suggestion on her friend, at least. Good. Unless that thought counted? Damn it, was she being mentally trained to no longer be sure of her own thoughts?

“Something on my face?” Alana wondered.

“What? Er, no,” Kristen assured, quickly looking away. They didn’t speak of it again.

**

By Thursday evening, Kristen was trying to balance every stray ‘kiss the girl’ thought - which now occurred almost once every hour - with a stare towards a guy and an active ‘kiss the guy’ thought. Except by that evening, she simply felt hot and bothered, acutely aware of the fact that she hadn’t had sex in over a month. She'd never had much luck keeping a boyfriend, her studies tended to be her priority.

This couldn't go on.

Was she the unwitting subject of some study by first year psych students? Oh sure, everyone on campus had to sign that acceptance form, ensuring no pressing of charges against placebo investigations. But there was a clause in there ensuring no active mental manipulations. That’s why admin could be harsh for anything non-consensual. And this was becoming mental manipulation. Wasn't it?

I mean, how could all these stray thoughts (thought, Kristen corrected herself, it was always the same one) be due to any sort of passive influence? What the hell was it about lesbianism that was catching her interest this week?

She’d almost caved and talked to administration that afternoon. But at this point, she had the sneaking suspicion that she was simply thinking the thought on her own, owing to it's repetition earlier in the week. Meaning she’d seem to them like a sex starved idiot.

Besides, this thought, this kissing of girls, it could be related to the upcoming unit on relationships, in her health class. Right? She’d almost convinced herself of that.

After all, this wasn't a suggestion to run naked through campus or anything. It was just... she wanted to kiss the girl. Kristen was sliding her fingers over her lips before she caught herself.

Damn it, there wasn't even a girl around her now! Why was she the one to get ‘kiss the girl’ vibes on campus anyway? If this was part of some study going on, why wouldn't the psych students be broadcasting the thought to guys instead? Or at least people more inclined to act on the compulsion? After all, she liked boys, not other girls, so this thought was very confusing.

Kristen started to undress for the night, fuming.

The flaw in her reasoning, she realized almost right away, was that the only part of the statement she was sure of was that she liked boys. I mean, could it be, she was bi? Was that it? It was a new theory, at least.

Except why would it take over twenty years of her life to figure that out? And wouldn't she have considered dating Alana, if that were the case? Alana was cute, there was nothing wrong with her friend. Unless... girl kisses had to taste different than boy kisses, right? So did brunette kisses taste different than blonde ones? Was that related?

This was messing her up.

Kristen stalked over to the mirror on her desk and pointed at it. "You simply need to get laid," she asserted to herself. "Tomorrow, Friday night, we're hitting the bar."

That decision made, Kristen managed to fall asleep with only minimal squirming.

**

Somehow, Friday morning was even worse. It was like, now that she'd thought about how kissing a girl might taste, every girl she saw, she wondered what they tasted like.

It was tempting to walk up to girls and ask them about their lip gloss. But that was crazy. If only she could know without asking... but telepaths only pushed thoughts, retrieval was a rare gift, and Kristen wasn’t gifted either way.

Also, she belatedly reminded herself, she wasn’t into other girls. She wasn't. She just needed to kiss the girl. Maybe a boy. Anyone. Preferably a girl. Was she bisexual? Wow, that blonde was cute, such smooth skin...

Kristen started to look only at the ground as she walked. It sort of helped. It was only as she was stumbling back towards her dorm that afternoon, taking the long way around in hopes of not staring at every girl she passed, that things started to become clear.

In her peripheral vision, a nervous looking redhead sitting on a bench in a hallway caught her eye.

Kiss the girl.

‘Shut it!’ Kristen thought to herself, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. She tried to push on, but something about this situation in particular compelled her to take another look.

The redhead, like so many other girls she'd seen that day, looked kinda cute. She was wearing a glossy black T-shirt and matching skirt, tall white socks, and was glancing over towards a particular room in the building they were both in. Though she was trying not to make it obvious how that’s what she was doing. Which room?

Kristen looked herself. It was the room for the LGBT club. Because of course she'd subconsciously come here. Somewhere that Kristen might have a chance to kiss a girl, at last.

Her lips weren't dry, but Kristen found herself licking them. That's when she realized that something about the redhead nearby was saying 'kiss the girl', more so than anyone else she’d seen that day.

Because this girl had to swing that way? Could she oblige? Maybe. The two of them even looked to be about the same age. And she was pretty. Yes, kiss the girl...

‘Shut it, shut it!’ Kristen mentally asserted. She'd simply see if the redhead was okay, and then get herself back to her dorm.

“Hey,” she ventured, approaching the shorter girl, trying to sound nonchalant. “Need a confidence boost to go over to the club there or anything?”

The redhead flinched. “I-Is it that obvious?”

Kristen shrugged. “Not really. There are very nice people in that club though. That is, so I've heard. I've never been in. Since I'm not... that is, I don't think I'm... uh, never mind. But I could get a club member to come to you, if you like?”

“It's fine.” The redhead licked her own lips, seemingly sizing Kristen up. “Are you a second year student too?"

"Third," Kristen corrected.

The girl nodded. "Close enough. You wanna go somewhere instead? Just the two of us? I’m Whet, by the way."

Kristen did a double take. "You're what now?"

"Whet. My name. Spelled with an 'h'."

Kristen felt the heat back in her cheeks. "Right, of course. Uh, look, Whet, I don’t identify. In fact, I don’t even come to this part of campus normally. I just happen to be here because, uh, look, never mind again."

Whet smiled. She really did have lovely lips. "Okay, well, did you have a name too, or shall I simply call you 'pretty blonde third year'?"

"Oh, sorry. Um, you can call me Krissy.” Mentally, Kristen cringed. Why was she giving out her cutesy name? Was she flirting? Whet had called her pretty, after all. No, no, she was getting out of her depth here. “I should go," Kristen back-pedalled. "You looked like you might want to talk to someone is all, Whet.”

“That's sweet to say, Krissy. I like the style of your ponytail. Could you at least answer me something before you leave?"

Kristen pulled her gaze away from Whet's wet lips. "Ah, sure."

Whet's head tilted to the side. "Do you find me cute?”

Kristen knew she was blushing now, and she wiped her palms on her jeans. "I guess? Maybe? But it's not for me to say, as I don’t... that is, I'm not...” She couldn’t finish the sentence. Because she couldn't seem to stop looking at Whet. So some part of her obviously did like girls? Or had since Monday. Why?

“You sure you don’t at least swing both ways, Krissy?”

Kiss the girl. Kristen jerked her gaze away. “I don't know," she found herself saying. "Look, maybe now’s not the best time to chat. I’m feeling real distracted today. This week, in fact. I should go. Maybe another time, Whet?” She glanced back.

Whet smiled at her again. Oh, those lips. “Are you distracted because of me, Krissy?”

“Y-Yes. No. Sorry, I should go.” Kristen turned and began to walk away. She found it took effort, but she managed to put some distance between them.

"Is there no message on your mind that you'd like to share first?" Whet called out.

Kristen didn't answer. She put one foot in front of the other. There, easy. She did it again. And again.

“Wait, Krissy," Whet pleaded. "Wait, please, listen, this is because of me. It's my fault. But hear me out before you leave for good? Please?" The words tumbled forth, and while Whet's tone had previously been nervous, then flirty, it now sounded serious. Maybe even a bit desperate.

Kristen stopped a couple paces away from the hallway door, and after a moment, looked back over her shoulder. Whet had jumped to her feet. “Hear you out about what?”

Whet ran her fingers back through her red hair. “Okay, so, here’s the thing. My esper ability? It's unique. It weirds time. When I try to send thoughts into people’s heads, it turns out I can hit a person wicked accurate. My identity targeting never misses. Except... the thought arrives anywhere from three to seven days prior to when I sent it. I don't know why.”

Kiss the girl. Kristen felt her throat going dry. “Oh yes?”

Whet nodded. “Most espers, they have trouble targeting a specific individual, right? For whatever reason, that’s not my issue. I’m always off target with time instead. The thought then resonates inside the other person's mind for all those days up to when I actually send it. Sometimes becoming an obsession, though that’s rare. It depends a bit on the target's psyche."

Kristen turned. This was fascinating. A space-time connection was possibly even the missing piece for her research. "You could change the past that way," she realized. "Even prevent someone's death, by sending a message to them."

Whet shook her head. "Not really? I mean, I can't lock on to someone who's dead in my present. Though I suppose I could target a bystander, but even then there's no guarantee how things will play out. Plus long messages tend to garble." The shorter girl took in a deep breath. "Look, Krissy. My ability comes down to probability waveforms. Which I often sense around myself. Now more than ever." 

Kristen took a step closer to Whet. Kiss the girl. “Waveforms?”

“Yeah. As soon as you spoke to me, I realized that I must have sent something to you. Subtly guiding you to this spot. But since I try to only ever use my power consensually, I haven't sent the message yet."

Kristen pulled her gaze away from Whet's lips again. "Wait, what?"

"I haven't sent you a message yet," Whet repeated. "And maybe I never will? But right now, there’s a greater than 50 percent chance you’ll let my message remain our true reality. Since it's the reality currently playing out. It can happen once you trust that I'm not doing all this to manipulate you, I think. After all, some part of you wants to be here too. Right?”

Sure, because Whet was academically interesting. Also kissable. So, hold on, had Kristen come here for the link to her research, or the LGBT club? Everything was becoming a jumble. Kristen settled for saying, “Is that so.”

“That’s what I figure.” Whet rubbed her nose. “There's two outcomes here, Krissy. If you walk out the nearest door, your last seven days or so will change. It’s usually pretty subtle, from what I understand, because no message I ever send is about buying lottery numbers or anything. I’ve learned to be real careful. To not get noticed. I don't like lots of attention."

Kristen stared. "Yet you're telling me this now."

Whet nodded. "Sure, since if you leave, you won’t even remember meeting me.”

So she wasn't going to remember the most interesting case study of her life? Or Whet's kissable lips? Kristen curled her toes in her shoes, wishing she could shut off the mental refrain of ‘kiss the girl', which was starting to crowd out her other thoughts. Damn Disney for making it a song. Distracting her intellectual side. “And if I don’t walk out?” she asked.

Whet shrugged. “You'll stay here. Tell me what the message is that helped us to meet, I'll send it, the waveforms will collapse... and we’ll likely have a fling, brief or otherwise. I am actually a lesbian, in case you hadn’t realized.”

"I'm not," Kristen managed.

Whet giggled. "I didn't say we had to date, just go back to my place for a while."

Kristen bit down on the edge of her tongue. "So then you did this to me for sex, Whet?"

Whet looked aghast. "No! Krissy, please. I haven't done anything yet, that's what I'm trying to explain," she insisted. "Also, I wouldn't send a thought like 'hot for Whet'. For all I know it was 'stalk the LGBT room'. I only figure I sent something that will lead us to a fling, because you keep looking at my lips and my thighs, and now your fingers are inches away from cupping your own breast. Nice body, by the way. Do you need custom bras?"

With a start, Kristen pulled her hands behind her back. "Yes," she answered by reflex. "Also, none of your business."

Whet nodded. "I see." She stared in silence for a moment. "Well, if you're sure that I'm being manipulative, I guess you'll be walking out of here. I hope some part of you remembers that you are very pretty, at least." With a sad smile, Whet looked away.

"I..." Kristen stared. This was ridiculous. Was this redheaded girl saying that all Kristen had to do to get rid of her same sex kissing cravings was to walk away? Moreover, that if she did walk away, it would be like this week of girl-centric events had never happened?

It was too crazy not to be true. So the next question was, did she want to leave? To maybe never learn more about Whet’s esper time ability? Because the price for knowing seemed to be lesbian urges. Kiss the girl. But the price for not knowing... okay, maybe she’d had these desires deep down even before Monday anyway? Was that possible? Was she bargaining with herself?

Kristen cleared her throat. “Wh-What will the last five days look like instead, if I walk off?” She realized she'd used 'if', not 'when', and wondered if Whet had noticed.

“I can’t answer that, Krissy," Whet said, turning back. "In the end, we’ll only know the one reality. I’d have the same problem knowing how a message WOULD change a life with someone I meet who has a LESS than 50 percent chance of letting my message stick. It's the probability waveforms.”

Kristen tried to process that. "But... if the chance of the message is less than 50 percent..."

"How would we even meet?" Whet finished. She smiled again, and Kristen wished Whet wasn't so extra kissable when she did that. "That's why it’s more rare. We'd have to encounter each other another way. And I won’t always spot the waveforms then, or bother to speak up if I do. Since saying something would change my reality in such a case, instead of preserve it. But people have been known to surprise me.”

This girl was amazing. For her power, though, not for the little freckles Kristen could now see. Not for those, or that shiny outfit Whet wore, or for her slightly parted thighs. Her esper power was amazing. Not her lips. Right?

Kristen raked her fingers through her ponytail, wondering when she'd walked back to stand next to Whet. Kiss the girl. “Look, if only MY past changes, won’t YOU remember this conversation? Somehow? Could you come to talk to me tomorrow, if I asked you to?”

Whet pursed her lips, as if considering how to reply. Except that just make Kristen want to kiss her even more. She fought down a moan.


There was a battle going on here, Kristen decided. Between her rational mind, and her sexed-up Whet-altered mind. Except weren't they, in fact, the same mind? Could Whet’s projected thought have simply fanned some ember of girl-love that already existed, deep down? It's not like her male relationships had ever been stellar. Was she realizing a truth about herself here? There was no way to know. Was there?

“There’s only one reality,” Whet said at last. “Granted, I do feel echoes. So when I see you again for the first time, if it ever happens, I’ll mentally know that you were someone I'd hoped to meet. But I won’t know details. I’ll only know you were someone who rejected me. That’s why, if you leave, it’s almost certain that we’ll never talk again. I mean, why would I talk to someone whom I suspect hates my quirky power?”

“Oh, not hate, Whet, gods no," Kristen gasped, reaching for Whet's hand before checking herself. She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans again. "This time aspect, it amazes me. It’s just..." Kiss the girl. "I don't know if I can grasp..."

If only there was some way to think about this without her girl-kiss brain interfering. Yet that brain was what had brought her by the LGBT club, right? To meet Whet? Okay, so maybe something else could have brought her here instead?

“Wh-What if I don’t give you the real message? What if I switch it up a bit?” Kristen asked.

“We into bargaining now?" Whet said, her smile gone.

Kristen desperately wanted to grasp Whet by the chin and kiss the smile back onto her face. "No? I-I'm feeling very sexually confused right now," she admitted.

Whet nodded. "Picking up on that. Look, Krissy, I'm sorry, but any other message I send wouldn’t guarantee that you come here to me. You might end up with some other stray thought in your head that's my fault, never knowing why, trapping yourself in a reality away from this explanation. I don't want to do that to you. It's never my intention to do things without consent."

Kristen clenched and unclenched her fingers. "Whet, that makes no sense. How could I end up with a thought you transmit, if you never see me to transmit the thought?"

Whet shrugged. "I said it might happen. There's a lot about my esper power that I'm still trying to figure out. Honestly, normally people just tell me the message, or ignore me outright. You’re one of these curious quantum cases. You mostly want me - but part of you doesn’t."

Kristen bristled. What the hell did that mean? Her heterosexuality was resisting? Or maybe it was her academic side resisting, not liking the existence of this kind of power. The power to weird time. Because she'd never seen anything like it in all of her research, and it would involve a major rethink. Kiss the girl.

“Damn it," Kristen said, stamping her foot. "You’re sure I won’t talk to you again if I walk off, Whet? You seem nice enough. You also seem to...” She stopped herself.

Whet's head tilted again. "To?"

Kristen licked her lips. To need a friend, is what she'd been about to say. It had just occurred to her that if Whet liked to keep to herself, and had to be very careful with her thoughts, she probably didn't have a huge social circle. And Whet had seemed a bit desperate, when Kristen had first walked away.

Would a one night stand with Whet be so bad?

Except would it even be a one night stand? What if Kristen liked having sex with women? And with Whet in particular?

Kristen realized she'd been contextualizing her recent kissing desires as that sort of life change, rather than a week of experimentation. Why? Couldn't it be a simple fling? Why the drastic outlook? Was it because of Whet's thought becoming an obsession? Or was there more to it, deep down? Damn it, if only she could KNOW, one way or the other.

As it was, Whet was still staring at her. Kristen caught herself before her hands went wandering again.

"To have a real cool esper ability," Kristen finished, lamely. "I don't have one at all. But I do a lot of research, you see."

Whet stared at her, perhaps wondering if there had been something more. "Uh huh," she said at last. "Well, let me put it this way, Krissy. My message, the one prompting your subconscious to be here? Which could even be what pushed you to talk to me? Once you walk out of here, it won’t have occurred. So, why would you insist on talking to me from your end in that future, particularly if I’m dismissive of you for thinking you hate my ability? Tell me that, Krissy. Tell me, what's so special about me?”

"It's that I want to kiss you," Kristen blurted, without thinking. Kiss the girl. "I've wanted to since I saw you. I only wonder if maybe I'd have wanted that even if you hadn't sent me any messages."

Whet eyed her. "Free will? That the problem?"

Kristen was fascinated. And infuriated. “Yes. No. I don't know! Whet, you are without a doubt, one of the most interesting people I have ever met. But I don't think I was bisexual last week."

Whet continued to stare. "But you're not sure."

"No, I'm not."

"And you're saying that you are bi now."

"Yes, maybe I am!” she admitted. “And maybe we should just end this by having you send me the time thought already, since you've probably figured out what it is by now."

Whet slowly shook her head. "Only with permission, Krissy. That's where the free will comes in. Besides, I'm not as certain as you believe. It could be ‘am I bisexual?’, or ‘redheads are sexy!’ or ‘a fling with a certain lesbian girl on campus this Friday night would be mind blowing’. Though that last one’s a bit long, and as I said, long messages tend to garble and fragment, no matter how true they are.”

Kristen bristled again, only to realize that Whet was teasing her. Teasing! Adorable. Kristen held back a giggle, realizing she was sexually aroused now, no question about it. Whet was short and sweet and might taste sweet for a short time and Kristen felt herself breathing faster.

She didn't want to risk not seeing Whet again. This was no longer a question of if they would kiss, but when. Presumably, as soon as Kristen gave Whet the message. Kiss the girl.

“Whet?" she murmured, moving her lips closer. Kiss the girl. "I gotta know one more thing. Is it possible that, now I know the context of this thought you sent, I’ll only be lesbian or bi or whatever it is for you? Not overall?”

Whet shrugged. "I don't know you well enough to say, not yet. Maybe a night in bed with me turns you off boys for good." Her playful tone then became serious again. "Or maybe you’ll ask me to send you more mental messages in the future, to change the way you’ve looked at yourself sexually, or at the world in general. I mean, I don't get that vibe from you. Given how your first instinct was to use my power to save people. But I can’t always tell what’s in someone’s heart. It’s a trust thing.”

Kristen stopped herself a couple inches away from Whet's face. Kiss the girl. "You've been burned before."

Whet nodded slowly. "Lil' bit."

Kiss the girl. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You didn't do it. And know you can still run out the nearest door, Krissy. Though I sense the waveforms are collapsing now, and not in that direction. Maybe because you know a part of me will be sad to have lost you? If so, I’m sorry. Please, you have to want us to have a fling too, I don't want it to be only me. Okay?”

Kiss the girl. Kristen wiggled her tongue in her mouth, resisting the urge to push it out and between Whet's lips. Kiss the girl. "I don't know what I want any more. I will say you’re kind of scary, Whet. But you’re fascinating too, and nice, and fun. I see that now too.” Kiss the girl. Kristen hoped she wasn’t drooling. "I do want to get to know you better."

Whet's breath tickled at Kristen's nose. "I'm not sure what more you'd get in one night, other than as you said, somewhere between scary and fascinatingly fun,” she said. “So last chance for your second thoughts."

A haze seemed to be settling over her. Kiss the girl. Kristen slid her nose in against Whet's, their lips almost touching. Kiss the girl. “Hunh, what?” What second thoughts? Kiss the girl. Somehow, all she could think now about was how turned on she was getting, and where she wanted to stick her tongue. Kiss the girl. The girl, who could become her girlfriend. "Why would we stop at one night, Whet?" she cooed.

“Krissy, cutie, listen. The waveforms are almost gone. If you're not certain you want to tell me the message, maybe we--”

"Nnngh, send this, Whet," Kristen interrupted. "Kiss the girl." With that, she grasped the redhead by the shoulders and mashed her lips in.

The kiss lasted a long time, both girls getting a bit of a tongue workout before Whet finally pushed Kristen back slightly. They each tried to catch their breath.

"Sent," Whet breathed. "P-Possibly more than once. You were a bit... distracting."

"Whatever," Kristen panted. "That tasted... it was amazing. Show me more, Whet, show me everything. I want you so bad right now, SO bad."

Whet smiled. "Meaning you want more of my weird esper power, or more of my body?"

"Yes," Kristen moaned. And as the pretty redhead reached out to pull her back towards her dorm room, Kristen realized the blanket affirmation made perfect sense. The two aspects of Whet were a package deal.

Much like her esper research, and her bisexual desires. In the end, both of those things simply went hand-in-hand. Like they always had.

Right?


END


***

Hope that didn't get too long for you. Thanks for reading down this far. What do you think, mind control? Predestiny? Something else? Let me know, if you have the time.

If you want to read more, Virga Mysteries: Balancing Act is my currently running serial. I've also been contributing columns to the Time Travel Nexus about the "Steins;Gate" anime series this year, if you like reading reviews and/or about time travel.

Wednesday 28 August 2019

CanCon 2018: Urban Fantasy

One of the panels I went to at CanCon 2018 on Sunday was "Urban Fantasy in the 21st Century". I've separated it out into it's own post here, so that the previous post wasn't too long, and because I tend to write in the Urban Fantasy genre, so this makes it a more handy reference for me.

As per usual, any errors in transcriptions are my own fault, likely from mishearing something, and are not an issue with the panelists. Nathan Burgoine was the moderator, who started the panel with introductions and why the appeal.


Evan: Evan May, I'm not Chadwick, who had to leave. I read it before I started writing it. I like anything kind of disturbing, and adding fantastic elements to a more familiar world is in some ways more impactful than entirely fantasy. The world you think you know, but there's this part you never anticipated.
Charles: Charles De Lint. When I got in, it didn't exist.
Nathan: Thank you, by the way.
Charles: What appeals about writing it is what Evan was saying. Also the idea of folklore and mythologies coming into contemporary storylines. Also internal dialogues as ways for characters to have conversations about themselves. And a sense of wonder, but real world as well.

Jennifer: Jennifer Lewis. Write of a secret society of superheroes among us; what I like best is it's a world that could exist if you knew the right doors to step through. Maybe never got over believing in fairies and UFOs, I want to live in a world where that's real, so that's what I write in.
Linda: Linda Poitevin. Like Evan I like things a bit disturbing, like Charles and Jennifer, I like that there's more to the world than we see. My Grigori Legacy looks at Heaven/Hell being real, angels being there, and what happens if battles take place here. I wouldn't necessarily want to live in that world, it does not go well.
Nathan: Nathan. Will lead with the three questions [from description], so we talk about what we said we would. Bit of an assumption in this, what is there left to explore in urban fantasy?

WHAT IS THERE?


Linda: There is everything. What makes stories unique? All have been told, good vs evil, love conquers all, but everyone has a different perspective of what's going on. Entirely different viewpoints, so potential is unlimited.
Jennifer: Given a story prompt, every one of you would have something different. All this stuff to explore. I'd like to see more diverse urban fantasy, and different mythologies.
Charles: My wish list is for more North American fantasy, based on where we live here, things like "Trail of Lightning" by Rebecca Roanhorse. Bringing it all together, mythology, urban folklore, bringing more of this continent we live in. Inuit stories.
Evan: To pick up on both those, new or different mythologies; I don't need more summer and winter fairy courts, and as cool as American Gods is, I don't need more Norse gods. There are so many. And a lot of urban fantasy makes the magical a secret element, that's cool, but it almost is starting to feel like a bit of a cop out. Let's see a modern world where the implications of magic are being explored.

Linda: Patricia Briggs does that with the Mercy Thompson series. Magic laws, it is being done, but I'd like to see more too.
Nathan: Someone looking at whether vampires can vote, because they're dead.
Evan: If there was magic ability, how would ordinary people find ways to do that.
Nathan: More customers would need to be more friendly to retail clerks. "I'm pyrokinetic, like to ask that again?" Who here have people off the top of their head, which everyone in the room should know about?

Jennifer: He [Charles] stole mine with "Trail of Lightning". Fun that, people exploring different things. Nathan's books (on panel) are pretty awesome.
Nathan: From that, I'll be selfish. For me as a kid, a closeted queer kid, urban fantasy let me connect without letting anybody know. No one knows I'm different from the rest of the world. It's different now, back then I couldn't go to the library and get a queer book, people would know. It's that door of what you could do from an allegorical view. What do you find the freedom to do? On purpose, or as an "I did?" moment?

Linda: My books are heavily based on Christian mythology. The angels, fall from heaven, I've based it there but in my direction. My biggest fun "aha" was a pastor from the States who said "I was fascinated when you used this old Jewish mythology and twisted it in". "I did?" I'd just been filing tidbits in there and cherry picked. God's a woman, just saying.
Evan: Plus urban fantasy is a license to use everything. Can take from all cultures, all over the place, if you have a good excuse to use it. Or, if creating your own world, it needs internal consistency.
Jennifer: Yeah, I started in X-Men fanfic. I've gone far out of that with my secret society, but one thing that was in my first book - I had a mom trying to deal with a daughter taking to people who aren't there. A medium talking to ghosts. If you see the world differently, we're quick to put a label on it, but it doesn't mean you're wrong. Someone came to me: "Great talking about the challenge of finding the right diagnosis and learning about children before treatments" and I thought "that's a good message too". If someone supersedes your will, are you legally culpable for what he does? I like playing with that. Also, my superheroes get a happily ever after, tired of people falling in love and then one is hurt or otherwise.

Charles: I love to be able to write about things like relations, but I don't let the fantasy solve the real world problem. I don't want someone waiting for a unicorn to come save them. It's not that I'm writing message books, but there ends up being a message in them; I get messages from social workers and pastors and parents. Lets people know they're not alone. I wrote hopeful books, I want to put more hope in, not more angst.
Nathan: When I first came out, my family disowned me. Your books were first with chosen family concept. Worked in a bookstore for years, you were the second signing.
Charles: Shame when you hear that kind of thing. Writers are ordinary people.
Nathan: I know that now.
Jennifer: Nice to get a good vibe.
Linda: And that they got the point of the book. Sometimes means something different to them, versus when I was writing it.
Charles: But we're connected to characters too. We have that bond right away.


Nathan: Let's flip the previous question, the dangers of writing Urban Fantasy.
Charles: Magic solving the problems is the biggest issue. Find ways to solve things yourself, or through community efforts, rise up from your situation. I don't like contemporary as it just seems the same, kind of lazy. I say that, but if you look at the mystery genre, there's 10 million books on private eyes. Or westerns, whatever, doesn't mean you can't do something exciting. Melissa Olson does stuff with werewolves, vampires whatever, first book felt like a first time.
Evan: To undermine my own point from earlier, it is one of the good parts that you can pick things from all over, but it gets into the cultural appropriation issue. Telling stories that aren't your story. You need to do that, we want stories that are diverse, but it needs to be done carefully and sensitively. You can do harm if you don't. Consult and do your research.
Charles: Another thing we can do is recommend and read diverse authors ourselves. Not just use it in our work. What else can I read, get other people to read this kind of stuff.

Jennifer: If the only time you are celebrating diversity or related is as the alien or monster, you're not doing it justice. If the only way I can tell a story is alien slug shapeshifters being non binary, realize there's also people.
Linda: Everyone has all the points covered. I'd go back to magic not solving everything, as one of the reasons I went into Christian Theology/Mythology. Too many people are sitting and waiting for the world to be saved, when it's coming to our own choices. The danger is in waiting for the magic, whether it's fairies and elves, or God and angels.
Jennifer: Why aren't they solving the problems. Why isn't Harry potter creating food or solving global warming.
Linda: Danger in perpetuating.
Nathan: Questions before we go on?

RESEARCH AND RESONANCE


Audience: About world building. It stresses me out, so I write Urban Fantasy - easier/harder? Also, ever had an experience where reader has completely misunderstood?
Linda: When I got an agent for my first book, they sent back two pages of changes, and most involved world building. Hugely intimidating for me, I didn't know what it was. You are rooted in this world, but you've created this whole other aspect, so the difficulty lies in making sure they mesh and you're remaining consistent. The whole pre-planning, I wasn't good at that. It was supposed to be one book and it became four, and in the fourth I discovered story arc; I did everything backwards. The fact that you're asking, you'll do fine.
Jennifer: I'll answer the second question first. One of my family members said "what you did with the dog was great", and I said "there was no dog, I don't think we're talking about the same thing". With world building, the hardest thing is making it consistent. Drives me nuts. As another Marvel example, in "Civil War", Captain America holds a helicopter back with his hands, but someone did the calculations. Either Cap is really holding back in his punches, or opponents have titanium skulls. It's one moment that throws everything else into confusion. When you undermine this, this, this and this.
Linda: When there's a moment that would be really cool, and your first two books are out, you can't change it. For your own sanity, preplan.

Charles: Biggest thing I've had as misinterpretation is for many, many years, the first decade of my career, people assumed I was a woman. Which I found kind of flattering. For world building, each approach has it's own complexity. One thing important to do is have limits and costs on the magic use. Whatever the super abilities, they can't just use them indiscriminately. Ends up like a Superman comic. It's always better, if a character has to do something, it costs them to do it. To cast a spell, takes life force of a companion, something to make it dramatic and put a limit on stuff.
Linda: That's a serious part, I struggled with that. I was writing angels, had to have limits and repercussions and consequences.
Evan: I guess Urban Fantasy does seem like it makes world building easier, but you do have to think about how elements make sense. Why hasn't magic solved all the problems? You have to think about why does it still resemble our society at all.
Linda: God is real? Why hasn't she solved the world problems?
Nathan: And if the marginalized had access to magic as well, why did the world unfold the way it did? How did the AIDS crisis happen? Colonialism? If the power was theirs, same problem, likely worse, but it always springs to my mind.

Audience: Urban Fantasy can be harder, you can't look at your own notes. If you weren't in the 80s - and I wasn't - you need to look it up, or what's that fountain look like. My question is, incorporating legends... myths conflict with each other. Vampire lore, etc. When in the process, how to decide which work, or negotiate conflict?
Linda: I chose the things that made my story move forward. That fit what I wanted to do. Some theological ideas that did not mesh - God being a man - I cherry picked, as I said. Twisted them to fit the message I wanted to get across.
Jennifer: I did something similar, knew where I wanted to go, so what makes sense to get there. Also looked at conflict and thought of kernel of consistent truth through them. Stories change over time, something that inspired this myth one way, and this myth another. Sometimes you can't, but if you can, you see how they got there.
Charles: Good point. One thing that drives me crazy is using mythological elements just because it's cool. Calling someone Zeus, but not bringing in elements of him. If you're using folklore, it should have some resonance, some grounding. For writing, just decide.
Evan: Use first what you need, and then after that, through the lens of being respectful, pick what's cool.
Charles: Or what resonates with you.
Evan: Yeah.

Audience1: Magic doesn't solve the problem - but can it teach characters about themselves?
Charles: I like to think it illuminates things for the characters. Chance to focus and see other avenues they can take.
Audience2: Ever look at a story and say 'does this need to BE magic'?
Charles: One thing I love about reading is a sense of wonder. I write the books I'd like to read, that's why it's there. Does it have to have it? No, but for me it does.
Linda: Not the same story without it.
Audience2: Just, sometimes I read and think, what's the magic actually doing.
Jennifer: And if the magic's not integrated, that goes to world building, it distracts. Never want the reader distracted.
Charles: Magic adds a deeper resonance to what you're doing. Without it there, maybe it doesn't mean as much.


Audience3: Can magic solve the problems magic creates?
Nathan: To borrow from [non-urban] fantasy, destroying the ring required the volcano, but characters and friendship got shit done.
Evan: Ultimately they're stories about people, how do we do things together, how we connect or not connect. Sometimes it resonates, but ultimately it's about people, not cool things with magic.
Jennifer: If there's characters you don't connect with, it's a pretty backdrop you can walk away from.
Linda: Then in the movie theatre you think, "what about" and write it yourself.

(Someone said there was "Lots about fantasy, what about urban?" Community?)
Jennifer: One thing I like specifically is the anonymity. Knowing so very little about what's going on that's not in your immediate view. Stuff hiding around corners. We don't know what's going on with our neighbours, cross section of an apartment building, all lives, divorced from each other. Could stare at it for hours, all these little stories. That's, for me, the draw of the urban. My characters also go out into the wilderness sometimes, but I like the being invisible in a crowd sometimes.
Linda: I'd say this comes back to the definition of Urban Fantasy. Several panels have discussed it in previous years. It's a consensus I've heard, a bit of a misnomer: "Takes place in a contemporary world." Many are writing in more rural settings, it remains urban fantasy because it's contemporary. I'm in city settings at the moment, that might change, it fits the story I need to tell. It doesn't need to be urban as in city.
Charles: I hate the term myself, it feels limiting. Many great books are set in what I call "mythic fiction" that have nothing to do with an urban centre. "The Green Man's Heir" has lots of British folklore, fantastic story, non-urban but it fits in with what we're talking about.
Linda: I think we need to break the genre down.
Nathan: It's hard enough as it is.

ENDING THOUGHTS


Audience: When in a city, is it up to you if set in Toronto, Ottawa... or better to be generic North America or midwest? Publicist says don't use Winnipeg?
Jennifer: I think about that a lot. I set in a fictional town outside of New York, I'd heard of cities suing authors if things get big, to not become tourist towns. Fake name, then no one can go looking for it. Some say Canada is exotic, others say we can't pronounce Winnipeg.
Evan: Can be something evocative for readers who know the landmarks. I set in Ottawa because it's where I live, easy for me to talk about the urban environment. But putting it in a more unexpected setting - Ottawa is a curious smallish place - dropping magic in almost feels better than somewhere you'd expect magic to be going on. My feeling is you can chase that forever. If it's a compelling story, you can set it in Winnipeg, people will read it, if it's not compelling, doesn't matter.
Linda: I set mine in Toronto, asked does this need to be an American city? "Your setting isn't a character in the story", she said. It's a city setting, it needed to be big, having the Toronto name didn't need to be an issue. Went to Vancouver, Ottawa back to Toronto, not a lot that's unique. Wasn't a problem, from an editor at Penguin. If the town is an integral part of the story, be more choosy. I hadn't known about people suing.
Jennifer: Town of Forks, against Stephenie Meyer. They were sick of people expecting "Twilight world". Money would go to charity.

Nathan: Closing thoughts?
Charles: That whole idea of not setting in a major city is a writers urban myth. Writers tell each other that. My early book was set in Ottawa, that's where I knew. After I published, it was considered exotic by readers. Come here for your honeymoon.
Linda: It fit the story you want to tell.
Nathan: The only time I've heard of people changing things was a case of "don't ask, don't tell, never happened". Dates people can get married, or like the health care system of the States, if someone gets injured.
Jennifer: Find what works for your story.
Evan: Final plug: Daniel Jose Older. Wrote "Bone Street" series, set in Brooklyn. Social media follower.

That was the whole panel, thanks for reading. Feel free to comment if you have any particular questions or thoughts. You can also return to the rest of my Sunday panels.