|AMV Friday #38|
I’m a writer first, and a teacher second. Time I own up to that. It says it in my Twitter description. My first post to this blog said I would talk about 1) Writing; 2) Math. I have a personal page for all the writing I’ve done, and (aside from my course webpage) nothing for my teaching. I only started blogging in connection with the “Math Twitter Blog O’ Sphere” when my math serial went on hiatus (due to some personal issues) back in late 2012. Since my serial ended last May, the posting has mostly been about the teaching.
This is not working for me.
You want to talk about being a fraud in the MTBoS? Look no further. Improving my teaching doesn’t make me near as happy as improving my writing.
Amusingly enough, I think that this fact has been obvious on the blog itself. Perhaps I haven’t been paying enough attention? (Have you?) I can’t go four posts here without a posting related to my writing. I’ve constantly been looking to vary up my style, from posting multiple points of view in my first “Day in the Life” series, to recently to inserting “find the lies” games into my TMC summary recaps. I also complain about how I write too much on tests and evaluations.
I'll even say that I've always been a bit out of synch. Some MTBoS people I’ve talked to speak of how they have “draft posts never published” or how “blog writing is hard” and WOW do I not get that. I mean, I get that it’s hard in terms of being time consuming, but the writing and having people read it is fun as all get out. Then again, have you ever seen me write a short post? For better or probably worse?
The main problem is that I now know I won’t have the time for both recreational AND teaching related writing come September 2014. Because: 1) After only 15 hours at school the last two days, I’m too spent to write; 2) The fiction story I’m presently working on is harder than my mathematical serial was. To be realistic, I have to kick something to the curb - and it’s going to be the teacher conversations. It’s not like I’ve been churning out useful lessons for anyone anyway, that’s not why I post. And there are others out there with a sympathetic ear.
I doubt it will be a permanent departure. In fact, once I (hopefully) have found some other people out there who like my writing style in fiction, I may see if they’ll follow me back to personified math. It may take months or years, but I left a fairly large narrative hook on the end of my last “Taylor’s Polynomials” storyline - I just didn’t have it in me to follow up. Not then. Still, it’s there if I (or another person) decides to use it.
|First sketch. No inking.|
Time travel stories are a joy to write, but a pain in the ass in terms of plotting, due to the non-linear cause and effect. Depending on the next few weeks, I may toss out my JulNoWriMo from 2012 as my next serial instead: “Balancing Act”. Melissa Virga, a former university student who knows sorcery, is being targeted. James Conway, the Watson to her Holmes, picks up the story from the time of their graduation.
And I’m certain that 90% of those in the MTBoS who read those last paragraphs went “uh... okay?” Which is why you’re not my audience. You probably weren’t my audience for personified mathematics either, seeing as most of the MTBoS is looking for things to improve their teaching, and on that front I got nothing. (Maybe songs. Little else.) Nothing against any of you - it makes sense that reading the equivalent of “Agents of SHIELD” isn’t going to make you teach any better. But writing it will make me happier. Which may help me teach better. Time to be investigating things like #TeachersWrite. Anyone else know more about that?
Now, if you do think I can be of some help, you can still let me know. I won’t be scrolling through my Twitter feed, but I’ll pop on infrequently to have a look at “Notifications” and “DM”s (Direct Messages), as I will still be tweeting: (1) Interesting stats articles and any serial updates; (2) #AMVFriday (like the soundtrack you clicked on earlier); and (3) My education column “There Are No Dumb Questions”, at MuseHack (hopefully less than 50% of you said ‘what’s that?’). So many you may not even notice a difference. If you do, again, I’m not deliberately ignoring you.
It’s just I can’t do it. I can’t teach all day, then come home and do more teaching related things online. I’m already losing my mind. I need recreation. This summer isn’t providing it. My belief - my hope - is that writing can.
|In the middle of my backswing?!|
I will grant there’s a bit of a contradiction going on, in that I seem to have gained a measure of credibility within the MTBoS... even as I leave it. And since I’ve said that I don’t get close to people - perhaps my being accepted as part of a group is what makes me want to step away from it? I’m pretty sure that’s not the case, but if you think I’m wrong, feel free to call me out on it. By the same token, if you feel like that could be a thing within YOURSELF when it comes to groups, you may want to analyze it.
As to why I’m doing this NOW, and not at the start of SEPTEMBER (when I actually start teaching - I’ve only been out of school since June 30), it’s because I’m preparing to go to Edinburgh this weekend, for two weeks, with a bunch of teenagers (and my dept head and parents), to perform a play at the Fringe. This means I won’t be checking my online accounts that much ANYWAY, very soon. So rather than try and catch up in late August only to face this again, I’m calling it here.
The house is now taking bets on whether I can write more if I'm focussed on it, through sheer force of will... given I’m not prepared to do what Michael Pershan did, and have someone lock out my social media passwords. Time will tell. What I may have going for me is that I got through a degree in Computer Science without any coffee. (Seriously people, if you need a cup of coffee to feel awake in the morning, that’s a problem. Do something about it. #ConfessYourUnpopularOpinion)
Fare thee well, MTBoS. What you’re doing is magical... but it’s not the magic I need right now.
|I need the Magic Circle of Stats?|